Many of these words you may have only heard as insults. Or never heard at all. Here are simple explanations, without judgement.
Orientation
Gay — a man attracted to men. Sometimes used as a general term for all LGBTQ+ people.
Lesbian — a woman attracted to women.
Bi (bisexual) — attracted to people of more than one gender.
Pan (pansexual) — attracted to people regardless of gender.
Ace (asexual) — little or no sexual attraction. That's normal. You can want a relationship without sex.
Queer — an umbrella term for anyone who isn't straight and/or isn't cis. It used to be a slur, now many use it with pride.
Gender
Trans (transgender) — a person whose gender doesn't match the sex they were assigned at birth. Trans woman — a woman who was assigned male at birth. Trans man — the other way round.
Non-binary — gender doesn't fit into "man" or "woman". Could be in between, both, or neither.
Cis (cisgender) — gender matches the sex assigned at birth. Most people are cis.
Pronouns — he/him, she/her, they/them. In the UK it's common to ask and respect these. They/them is used for non-binary people or when gender is unknown.
Relationships and sex
Consent — the main rule. Both people must want it. You can change your mind at any time. No means no. Silence ≠ yes.
PrEP — a pill that prevents HIV. Free in the UK through the NHS. Very effective.
U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) — if a person with HIV has an undetectable viral load, they cannot pass the virus on through sex. Scientific fact.
Safe sex — condoms, PrEP, testing. Regular STI tests are a normal part of sexual health.
Open relationship — a relationship where partners have agreed they can see other people.
Polyamory — romantic relationships with multiple people at the same time, with everyone's consent.
Kink and fetish
Part of sexual culture. Between consenting adults — it's normal. No need to be ashamed, no need to participate.
BDSM — Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. A wide spectrum of practices based on trust and consent.
Leather / Rubber — fetish for leather or latex. A large community with its own culture.
Pup play — role play where a person takes on the role of a puppy. About playfulness and freedom.
Dom / Sub — dominant and submissive. Roles in BDSM dynamics.
Safe word — a word that immediately stops everything. Mandatory in any kink practice.
Resources: Recon, FetLife, Fetish Week London.
The scene
Drag — performance where a person plays with gender expression. Drag queens, drag kings. Art, humour, freedom.
Pride — annual events celebrating LGBTQ+ identity. Parades, parties, protests. It started as a riot — it remains an act of visibility.
Coming out — telling others about your orientation or gender. It's a personal decision. There's no right time. You don't owe it to anyone.
Ally — a straight and/or cis person who supports LGBTQ+ people.